Perhaps one of our most polarizing modern proverbs is “money can’t buy happiness.”
I get the sense that whenever the phrase is mentioned, most people find the sentiment to be glib, naive, or even a little insulting. A common pushback you’ll hear is, “Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness never had any.”
Well, I’ve been thinking about the relationship between money and happiness recently after coming across a couple of online posts of people explaining their financial situations.
Here’s one from a guy who retired at 41 with over $2.5 million in investable assets and also receives an additional $75,000 of income each year:
This guy worked diligently for 15 years—saving, investing, and building up a business to sell—all with an eye towards one day reaching financial independence and not having to work anymore.
And after finally accomplishing this great feat, instead of all of his problems falling away, his wife is calling him a loser.
Now, I don’t think this guy is a loser. And he’s not lazy. If he was lazy, how did he build a $2.5 million investment portfolio and retire at 41?
But maybe the absence of his pursuit of financial independence has laid bare some deficiencies in his life and his relationship. Now that he’s no longer chasing money, what is he doing? What does he want to do with the remaining 40+ years of his life?
I will say, as someone about to have their third child, if he’s looking for something to soak up all of his free time, having a kid will do the trick.
Here’s another one from the wife’s point of view:
This guy did it. He won the game. Retired in his 40s. Yet, he’s miserable.
How can that be? He has what nearly everyone wants.
It seems like he doesn’t love taking care of and being with his kids, but at the same time, he won’t hire a nanny to give him more time to do the things he actually wants to do. He would rather be miserable than watch his portfolio value go down.
Maybe, after years of working to grow his wealth, wealth became the only thing he truly cares about.
And this guy is not alone. I feel like I’ve been sharing this Wall Street Journal poll a lot recently:
A new study from Credit Karma found that 45% of Gen Z and Millennials are obsessed with the idea of being rich.
Which, on its face, may not seem like a terrible thing. But when money becomes your entire purpose, it can keep you from developing other important areas of your life.
What you end up with are these people in the stories above who have all the money they could want and nothing to do with it. In that sense, I don’t think money bought them the happiness they were looking for.
I always think about how those who don’t have money are constantly stressed and worried about getting more of it — and those who do have money are constantly stressed and worried about keeping and growing it. It seems that no matter your level of wealth, being stressed about money is universal.
It makes sense that those without much money would be preoccupied with getting more of it. But if the wealthy continue to be preoccupied with getting more of it and are still stressed, then… what’s the point? Who are the winners?
Almost every piece of financial content out there focuses on how to make as much money as possible. However, more money doesn’t seem to help lower anxiety, so perhaps we should dedicate more time and attention to our relationship with, and how we feel about, the money we do have.
Thanks for reading!
Jake Elm, CFP® is a financial advisor at Dentist Advisors. Jake a graduate of Utah Valley University’s nationally ranked Personal Financial Planning program. As a financial advisor at Dentist Advisors, he provides dentists with fiduciary guidance related to investments, debt, savings, taxes, and insurance. Learn more about Jake.