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On this episode of the Dentist Money Show, Jordan Haines from Dentist Advisors joins Matt and Ryan to explore the critical role of involving partners in financial discussions to strengthen relationships and financial compatibility. They dive into the discovery process in financial advising and the unique roles individuals take on when managing finances as a couple. Highlighting the power of education, effective communication, and open dialogue, they offer insights into how couples can successfully navigate challenging financial discussions. Tune in to hear personal stories and actionable strategies that can help you achieve financial harmony and deeper engagement with your partner.
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Podcast Transcript
Intro: Hey everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Dentist Money Show brought to you by Dentist Advisors. We have a great show for you today. We have our oldest new member of the team, Jordan Haines, after a six year hiatus away from DA. He is now back with the Dentist Advisors team. And Jordan joins Ryan and I to talk about money and relationships and how to involve your spouse or partner in the money conversation. We go a lot of different places with this. We share stories and examples and our experience working with hundreds of dentists all over the country and really sharing experience from our personal lives to help give you some insight and hopefully make you a better communicator with your spouse or partner around money to hopefully create a more fulfilling relationship, and use your money more wisely and more effectively within your family. As always, we hope you get something out of this and enjoy the show. Okay. So this all came about because a few months ago I had a longtime client who went through our onboarding process like he might be pushing eight plus years ago, but he reached out. He’s like, Hey, I really love the discovery process and onboarding process you go through and maybe Matt and Jordan, you guys could talk a little bit about some of the nature of those questions, but he had heard it.
Ryan Isaac: Maybe Matt, you’ll remember what podcast you guys talked about it. He had heard a podcast recently sometime last year about kind of that intake discovery process that we go through with new clients. And he was like, Hey man, could we just do a meeting where my wife gets on the call? And we basically go through that discovery with her as if we’re new clients, just so she can be kind of caught up to speed because she hasn’t been super involved. And it was a really cool experience. That’s how this whole subject came about was that question. And then we can dive into it. But the meeting was awesome. It was like 90 minutes and it was so good.
Matt Mulcock: I love those discussions.
Ryan Isaac: Yeah, they were so good, but that’s what started all of this. Would love to hear where you guys would like to take it. And also Matt, you probably remember that episode.
Matt Mulcock: Yeah. I think it was a two-parter.
Ryan Isaac: That’s kind…
Jordan Haines: You guys want to know something weird? Want to know something kind of strange? I know exactly when that was. I am probably one of the only people who have listened to every single episode of Dentist Money Show.
Ryan Isaac: If anyone’s listening and can challenge Jordan on that…
Matt Mulcock: I was going to say, let’s have a challenge.
Jordan Haines: Am I the only non-dentist who has probably listened to every episode?
Ryan Isaac: Got to…
Matt Mulcock: Possibly.
Jordan Haines: A good show.
Matt Mulcock: I haven’t listened to every episode, but when I got hired at DA seven years ago, I listened to a bunch of the early ones before I got hired because I wanted to be prepared to impress Ryan. Since then, I certainly don’t listen to every episode.
By the way, should we maybe back up and welcome Jordan Haines back?
Ryan Isaac: Yeah, I was just gonna say two things there. One of them I would like to talk about what actually impressed me about you Matt when you came into the office for the first time and had nothing to do with our company. But welcome Jordan Haines. You’re so good at this stuff!
Matt Mulcock: Welcome home is what we…
Ryan Isaac: Yeah, what’s the quick 30-second overview of Jordan’s path?
Jordan Haines: Should we give the story arc a little bit? My wife has three uncles who are all dentists. About six years ago, they reached out to me as a young financial advisor and said, “Hey, look at this company over here. I listened to their podcasts. They sound pretty cool. Can you vet them for me?” I was like, “These guys are awesome.” Love Dentist Advisors. So I reached out, got a job, became a financial advisor, and then…
Matt Mulcock: I remember the day, Jordan. I remember the day you were in the office and we hired you. It was a great day.
Jordan Haines: I was the only one in a tie I got…
Matt Mulcock: You look…
Jordan Haines: Wore a tie, huh?
Matt Mulcock: You look…
Jordan Haines: Got in a tie, huh?
Matt Mulcock: Great.
Ryan Isaac: This was six years ago?
Matt Mulcock: Yeah, we weren’t wearing…
Jordan Haines: Yeah. And I wore that tie until no one came to the office anymore. It was great. And now I don’t. I’m used to wearing t-shirts today. You got me in a polo, but yeah, so I’ve been hanging out with Reese the last couple of years. He’s been building some cool things for other financial advisors so they can do as great things as Dentist Advisors is doing. And then a couple months ago, the prodigal son returned. And here I am to just talk about money. That’s my role.
Ryan Isaac: That’s cool.
Matt Mulcock: I love this. Well, just really quick from my side: what Jordan won’t say is basically every time we talked (once every couple of months), I was like, “When are you coming back? When are you coming back?” Hey, we’re going to get you back. And we finally did—and it’s great.
Ryan Isaac: So Jordan, as you kind of hear the intro to this topic, and you’ve been in a lot of capacities here—in our client work, our process work on the software side of things—how do you, what would you add to this as like a setup to involving a partner or spouse in finances?
Jordan Haines: When it comes to money or finances or anything in general, there’s always something like a “job to be done.” You could boil us down into, “there’s a problem to solve” versus “an opportunity to capture.” We want to grow or fix something. All of those have a functional side—the numbers, the calculator stuff—and an emotional side. And then there’s a social aspect: how it relates to other people. I think we talk a lot about emotions, which is very strong in spousal relationships, but the social part—when you get the spouse in the room, you’re both looking at the same picture, and clarity happens. Before that, it can feel like you’re just trying to convince the other person.
Matt Mulcock: It’s such a good point.
Ryan Isaac: I was actually going to ask Matt to chime in. In most partnerships we work with, one person tends to take the lead role. Do you want to set up a typical client partnership and how one person usually handles more of the finances?
Matt Mulcock: For the most part, one person takes the lead. It could be due to lack of interest from the other partner—it could be the dentist or the spouse. But very often, the other person would love to be empowered and part of it; it’s just the role they’ve taken on.
Jordan Haines: How much do you think that’s real versus assumed? Like my dad thinks a movie is stupid, but lurks in the background and ends up interested.
Matt Mulcock: I hear that a lot—spouses saying they don’t want to be involved, then they show up and ask questions.
Ryan Isaac: Yeah—lurking in the background.
Matt Mulcock: I think there are lifelong roles we take on, and uncovering those is part of our job as advisors. When the non-involved spouse joins, everything changes.
Ryan Isaac: So good. Let’s talk about our discovery process. What questions help involve the less-active partner?
Matt Mulcock: We call it a “discovery call”—most people expect spreadsheets and ROI, but for us the real value is the individual’s story: their concerns, emotions, and why. We spend a lot of time understanding that qualitative side, and we encourage both parties to be part of that first conversation.
Ryan Isaac: That’s exactly why my client reached out—he wanted his wife to go through our discovery as if she were a new client.
Jordan Haines: And after that, you ask: “Do you want to be involved? If so, how do you want to be involved?”
Matt Mulcock: Perfect follow-up question: “How do you want to be communicated with? How do you want to be involved?”
Ryan Isaac: In that call I mentioned, his wife runs the household bills and had strong feelings about debt. She needed reassurance. Once we asked, “What matters to you?” she lit up.
Matt Mulcock: And he was amazed—he’d never heard her ask a financial question before.
Ryan Isaac: Exactly—and that’s the point: involve both perspectives.
Matt Mulcock: I’ve found it’s rarely all-or-nothing roles. Often one handles day-to-day while the other handles big-picture strategy. What’s missing is a routine communication pattern.
Ryan Isaac: The person in the weeds may not understand the big picture, and vice versa. Bringing both together enriches everything.
Jordan Haines: Quick hot tip: don’t treat your partner like they’re stupid. If you struggle, bring in an unemotionally involved third party—whether human or a neutral website.
Matt Mulcock: That third-party neutrality helps overcome patterns, insecurities, and past hurts. Advice finally lands.
Ryan Isaac: Point 2: Open communication—what you guys are doing right now is a perfect example.
Matt Mulcock: Open communication has two parts: proper intention (not making your partner feel stupid) and the skillset to deliver information in a way they can receive. A neutral third party can help with both.
Ryan Isaac: And data. Unemotional facts guide the conversation.
Matt Mulcock: Remind yourself you’re on the same team, and frame the issue as the problem you’re solving together, not as attacking the person. Start with appreciation for each other’s strengths around money.
Ryan Isaac: Invitation: schedule a discovery-style meeting this year with your partner and learn something new together.
Jordan Haines: First step: ask if they want to be involved. If they do, ask how they’d like to be involved.
Ryan Isaac: Point 3: Plan ahead together. Early planning (months in advance) keeps emotions in check.
Jordan Haines: For us, we budget every Sunday—five minutes to categorize and then review together on Sunday night. It removes emotion and builds a rational habit.
Matt Mulcock: Systematize it—whether it’s weekly, monthly, quarterly, or tied to your advisor meetings. Systems create intention, fulfillment, and peace around money.
Ryan Isaac: Point 4: Spending awareness (not “budgeting”)—have a simple, repeatable process you’ll stick with.
Matt Mulcock: It must be sustainable. Make it part of a habit or a “money date.”
Ryan Isaac: Point 5: Compromise becomes easier when you’ve educated each other, communicated openly, used data, and planned ahead.
Jordan Haines: Use “reflective listening”: repeat back what you heard, then preface your view with “The story I’m telling myself is…” It keeps it unemotional.
Ryan Isaac: Common compromise: debt vs. savings. With data and a neutral guide, you can find a “good enough” solution—there’s rarely a perfect one.
Matt Mulcock: Money isn’t physics; there are only trade-offs. Always start conversations by affirming you’re on the same team and appreciating each other.
Ryan Isaac: Your invitation: consider joining us at the Dentist Money Summit in Park City, Utah, June 20–21, 2025 (DentistMoneySummit.com) to learn, plan, and connect with your partner.
Keywords: partnership dynamics, financial education, spousal involvement, financial compatibility, communication in finance, emotional aspects of finance, roles in financial discussions, compromise.
Behavioral Finance, Cash Management, Getting Organized
